President-Elect Trump Briefed by Wizarding World Hours Before Inauguration
January 20, 2017
Exclusive by Rita Skeeter
Following a tradition dating back to James Madison in 1816, President Elect Donald Trump today — just hours before being sworn in as President of the United States — visited the previous MACUSA Headquarters immediately below St. John’s Episcopal Church.
Situated near the White House in Lafayette Square, St. John’s has become known as the President’s Church. Every President since James Madison has, at one time or another, worshipped there. Indeed, the president, whomever that may be, has his (or her, well I guess not, since Hillary lost) own pew, Number 54.
But unknown to Muggles, St. John’s Church is also well-known to the Wizarding World as the location of the American Congress until MACUSA was moved to New York (to the Woolworth Building, as everyone knows) in 1892.
The church is especially known for the twenty-five historic Lorin Stained Glass Windows from Chartres, France which depict the story of Christ from St. John’s perspective. An additional twenty-five are found below in the Wizarding atrium, which depict significant Wizarding events in the United States and, of course, move — not like the boring ones upstairs that the Muggles think are so great!
(Oh yeah, and there’s some bell cast by Paul Revere’s son, Joseph, one of only two in DC. Like we care about some stupid bell!)
Press Attaché Mathilda Grimsditch — yes, the great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandchild of one of the original twelve Aurors trained by President Jackson, Josiah, you twit, not Andrew, beginning in 1692, but don’t ask her or you will be there all day! — refused to provide any details, other than the following totally insufficient press release:
PRESS NOTICE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
As is tradition, the President-Elect was provided a briefing from President Charity Picquery of the Magical Congress of the United States of America (MACUSA) the morning of the Inauguration. The topics of the discussions will remain private.
MACUSA Press Attaché
“The discussions will remain private”????
Well, not if I have anything to say about that!!!!!
President Picquery — yes, yes, as we all know, the granddaughter of Seraphina Picquery . . . can’t anyone get a job in this town without being related to a president????
As I was saying, I luckily, have very good sources and can tell you exactly what was said.
Following the Church service (which is used as a cover story for the meeting, as always) President-Elect Trump and his beautiful and talented wife Melania, were escorted by the Vestry Candidates (all of whom are wizards or witches) up to the nave and then exited the right door down to the old MACUSA atrium.
President-Elect Trump was personally (and rather ironically) ushered into the Pentagram parliament chamber by the Vestry Senior Warden Hilary West — only one “L” in Hilary, she notes.
President-Elect Trump then received a welcome from President Picquery.
In this reporter’s view, it seems more than a coincidence that this meeting occurred directly under the stained glass window showing, in moving detail, the Salem witchcraft burning of Wendelin the Weird, famous for being burned at least 47 times because she thought it tickled!
Perhaps just a wee little nudge about not going back in time and undoing all that has occurred recently?????
This intrepid reporter did note that President Picquery was very careful NOT to discuss the size of Mr. Trump’s hands, or the rather touchy issue of whether he is a squib — as alleged by candidate Hillary Clinton at the debate which I superbly moderated before MACUSA on September 22, 2016 (reprinted at artofspying.net blog, by the way).
The only sign of discomfort on the part of Mr. Trump was when President Picquery mentioned, quite pleasantly I might add, that she hoped that any issues relating to immigration or possible xenophobia would not affect the present wonderful standing of all wizards and witches that presently exists.
Melania Trump, escorted by Krista Becker in a glorious sky-blue dress and absolutely exquisite coral necklace, gave the beautiful Melania a run for her money.
Ms. Becker, who works at the US Postal Service, received the honor of escorting the soon-to-be First Lady due to her recent extensive coordination with the Ministry of Magic in regards to setting up the new owlery at the Vice President’s official home, the Naval Observatory.
One humorous incident did occur. When Mr. Trump pulled out his phone to Tweet about the meeting, Melania with a smooth wave of her hand levitated the phone away from the King of All Tweets and allowed it to gracefully waft into her purse, where it stayed for the remainder of the meeting.
The meeting lasted only about twenty minutes, and was interrupted only once when one the Vestry candidates — Jessica Sanchez, a noted advocate for the homeless in DC — noticed a beetle on a window ledge and kindly opened the window and let the small creature free, as opposed to squashing it. What a wonderfully kind woman!